The Law and The Dog

I am proud of my interspecies relationships.
I get on well and regularly talk to numerous humans.
I also have a good relationship with the household rabbits.
I am even willing to talk to birds - so long as the topic of conversation is my lunch.
Those that accept are delicious.

Talking to dogs however is a bit of a conundrum.
I don't like loud noises.
Every time that I try to converse with a dog it makes loud noises and behave in a totally dotty fashion.
I am left with the conclusion that vast majority of dogs, if not all dogs, are of low intelligence.
Thicker than two short planks to put it bluntly.

Attacks by dogs have been in the news media this last week.
One poor woman died link and another was bitten when she bent to pat a dog link . Of course there has been much comment about dog laws and how they are not obeyed or not strong enough.

Why is everyone surprised about this?
How can dogs be expected to know the laws let alone obey them.

Dogs are stupid.

Fencing them in doesn't help much. Fences are for jumping and make great things to sit on. A fence is a big sign saying "Something interesting on the other side".
What dog wouldn't want to jump one?
Only a very, very stupid one.

Registration is another puzzling idea.
What is in it for the dog?
A coloured tag on the collar if one is desired can be purchased much more cheaply and any pet store or hardware shop.
So registration helps pay for dog rangers and other control measures. Surly it is those without dogs who want them controlled not the other way around.
I want dogs controlled so shouldn't I be the one to pay for it?

This micro chipping law is the strangest one.
All dogs except working dogs have to be micro chipped.
Somehow people expected this to stop dogs who don't know a greeting from an deadly insult from attacking an innocent passerby.
How?
By zapping the dog's near nonexistent brains?
Even I don't see how that would be possible given that these chips don't have batteries.

My secretary has promised to get me micro chipped if I move house. Apparently the chip holds a number that can be traced to my address if I get lost.
I fail to understand how any different than the tag on my collar. That tag has enabled my lost collar to be returned to me a number of times.

Better than any chip.